I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
This toilet bowl is my home.
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