yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
