I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
