Me too!
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
please come you make the beer taste better
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Randomize
