I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I want to be your penis for a week.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
