so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
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