I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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