Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
