forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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