hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
