Welp...herpes.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
