with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
