What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
