who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
