I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
