well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
