Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
This is the high leading the old right now
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
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