No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Randomize
