Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
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