Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
