I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
