The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
