tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
