I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Randomize
