A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
