Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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