I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Alive.
So much puke
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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