how can u be prego again
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
