What did we do last night that was yellow?
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Randomize
