with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
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