My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Randomize
