The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
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