When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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