so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
