He told me they were just razor bumps!
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Randomize
