that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
