I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Randomize
