Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
