two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Randomize
