I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
