So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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