You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
