Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
