i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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