I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
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