I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
