my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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