I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
