It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
There was a lot of him and a little penis
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
