Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
